Don’t you just hate it when you talk to someone and say something which you think sounds fairly inoffensive but gets either misinterpreted or misheard and they react in a very unpleasant manner that just seems to come out of nowhere and you can’t justify it because you haven’t the faintest idea how they interpreted your comment and both parties are left feeling completely burnt out and sour at the end of it all?
…Yeah, that just happened.
It’s happened to me before, more times than I care to count, to be honest. So many times have I opened my mouth and caused untold grief and misery to other people in ways I can’t even begin to comprehend, let alone refute, that I wonder why I’m not labelled Arsehole of the Decade as a result.
This is, perhaps, one of the most major reasons I find it difficult talking to girls, or come to think of it, all people. When something I say that sounded completely innocent in my head is taken as an insult, or just isn’t received as well as I’d have liked, it fucking stays with me. Hell, even if you look at me in a funny way, or your tone of voice changes in a way that even suggests you were offended or perhaps confused by what I said, it will stay in my mind and not leave. I reflect on the situation and how catastrophically badly it went for years afterwards – it sticks in my subconscious like a leech, and paralyzes me with fear whenever I try to muster up something to stay. The number of times I’ve offended people without intending to has consistently swollen my conversational nervousness until I hardly dare to even open my mouth around my closest friends. My subconscious tells me that it’s hardly worth bothering to try and make conversation with anyone anymore – you’ll just get someone wound up into a horrible state and not even know how or why.
And, chances are, if I try to reconcile, it’ll just make things a lot, lot worse.
Come on guys, what the hell happened to the “benefit of the doubt”?
Just had to say all that to get it out of my mental system. This is what goes on in my head on such a frequent basis. I apologise if this post has offended anyone. It probably has.